And then the bomb was dropped....
To most of you September 25th is just another day of the week. Here at our house it’s a remembrance of “D-Day.”
D-Day:
So it was a beautiful fall morning when the phone rang. I was just waking up and little Spencer was in my room watching Barney on TV and Ethan was still asleep in his crib. I wasn’t expecting the phone to ring quite so early in the day. I was, however, expecting a phone call from my doctor’s office sometime during the day.
You see, two days earlier I had been into the women’s center and had a biopsy of my breast. The week before I noticed a small discharge of blood from my breast. I called my OB and the nurse saw me the next day. She thought I might have a duct infection since I had just stopped nursing within the last year. She sent me to have a mammogram. Well, the mammogram prompted an ultrasound and the ultrasound prompted a biopsy. They told me there was a 5-7% chance that the darkened area on my ultrasound could be cancer.
“Five percent?” I thought. “That’s 95% chance I don’t have anything to worry about.”
I raced to the phone and answered. The nurse was on the phone. She asked if I was home alone and I told her no, my 3 year old and 1 year old were there with me. She asked me to sit down. The next several minutes were a flush of emotions and a blur of words like, ductal carcinoma and chemotherapy and mastectomy. I started crying hysterically and asked her what she was talking about! Was I really the five percent? She tried her best to calm me down and said she’d arranged for me to see a surgeon later that day.
I hung up the phone and slammed the phone on the counter so hard I thought it would shatter into a million pieces. I began shouting and crying, “NO! NO!! NO!!!” I then picked up the phone, (luckily it still worked) and called Matt at work and told him to come home. I then called my Mom who lived 5 minutes away and told her the news. She rushed over immediately.
I opened the door and began sobbing on my Mom’s shoulder. She was crying too and saying “Why? Why is this happening?” She was all dressed up ready to go to the MTC. In 2 hours, she was supposed to drop my younger sister off to start her mission.
Matt arrived from downtown in what felt like 2 minutes, thanks to a co-worker who drove him to the Trax stop closest to our house, so he wouldn’t have to wait for the train. (Thanks Paul) Matt rushed in the door and hugged me tightly. We just kept crying and crying.
My Mom drove home and picked up my sister and Dad and brought them over. They had to leave for Provo right away. I gave my sister the biggest hug, not knowing if I would ever see her again. I remember whispering in her ear, “work hard.” And with that they left.
By the late afternoon, I had no more tears left to cry. My eyes were almost swollen shut and I felt exhausted. I didn’t know how severe this cancer was. I had no idea if I was going to die or live. I had no details, no time frames, just that; I had breast cancer.
I knew I needed to shower and get ready for my Dr.’s appointment. Matt’s Mom came over to take care of the boys, and we went to the surgeon.
The surgeon was extremely comforting and helped me understand that I would not die. I had a really rough road ahead of me, but I would not die. That was great news. He explained that looking at my biopsy results he thought a mastectomy would be the best way to go. We spent 3 hours with the doctor. He was so great. So understanding and kind and answered so many questions. Thank you Dr. Alldredge.
After scheduling a surgery date (5 days later) we left for home. I was feeling a little better, but now just so sad and depressed about the long road that was ahead of me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through, but somehow I knew I had to survive this crap and see my boys have their first day of kindergarten, at least.
After arriving home I felt tired and hungry, but I knew I had to get ready for tonight’s young women activity. I was in charge tonight and knew I needed to be there. See, just 4 months earlier I was called as the young women’s president. A calling I absolutely LOVED! Matt told me I was crazy and that I shouldn’t be worried about that. I went anyway. I wanted just one last activity where I was still normal; one more evening where the girls looked at me as just a normal person, without cancer.
When the activity was over I told Taunia I had just been diagnosed earlier today. She and I broke down in tears and hugged. I then went into see the Bishop to let him know. He was completely shocked to say the least. Talk about deer in the headlights!! He told me if I wanted to be released, just let him know. I thought about it and decided that so much had just been taken away from me that day, I couldn’t bear one more thing. I felt like I could keep the calling and somehow it would work as a strength for me.
Well, the rest of the story is long and drawn out and would take pages and pages to fill the hundreds of experiences I had. Basically a lifetimes worth of experiences, learning opportunities, and bodily torture took place in about 9 months. Yeah, I feel like 15 years older than I really am…and my body DEFINITELY feels older too.
I wanted to share a few photos that I haven’t shared with anyone…why not the entire world huh? We can all laugh about it now right? Well..sort of.
Here's what I looked like before my haircut....
And here's after the haircut...
About 3 weeks after my first chemo treatment, my hair began to die and fallout. I went ahead and pulled it all out...except a few hairs my hubby had to shave...
Here's a picture of my hair starting to grow back in...I know... you have to look REALLY close, but it's there!!! And don't you love my lovely moon face? (Eyebrows at this point were painted on...and the cute no eyelashes look!!!)
Happy 12th Anniversary to my prince charming....
Back in the old days we didn't have digital anything. (Cell phones were the size of large bricks, and they weighed that much too.) So try to overlook the lack of quality in these pictures...Someday I'll get my wedding negatives scanned, but for now...enjoy the trip down memory lane!
I love my prince!
Sadie had lots of fun with us until the end of the day when she got a little sleepy and didn't want to ride any of the rides. Ethan loved all the kid rides and Spencer, well, he went on EVERYTHING!! 
For our final day we drove to downtown Spokane and went to a place called the Riverfront Park. It was such a beautiful picturesque park with a big river, (of course) flowers, trees, waterfalls, and pure beauty.
I'm not sure how the shopping cart and bike ended up in the waterfall, but it makes for a funny picture!
This was one of the highlights of the park. The giant Red Flyer slide! This thing was huge! The kids thought it was sooo awesome!!
Isn't this place beautiful? The kids had so much fun together. They even have a garbage sucking goat....see the picture below where Ethan is feeding something? Well it's a metal goat with a vacuum in it's mouth so that's where you put your trash...too funny!
Riverfront also had this beautiful water fountain. It was only 70 degrees, but the kids didn't care! They ran out and got soaked! They had lots of fun!
On our way back from the park we stopped by the bar and grill that John Stockton's Dad owns. We are big John Stockton fans so driving by this and then Gonzaga University was pretty cool!
So thanks to Brian and Carrie for their warm hospitality and putting up with all of us for several days. We had loads of fun!!! We can't wait to come again! (if we haven't worn out our welcome!)
On the way home we stopped by to see my Uncle Doug and Aunt Sally. They have a beautiful home right on Lake Coure d'Alene. Here's a few photos of the gorgeous place....I can't imagine waking up to that beautiful scene every day!
