Happily Ever After...The Rest of the Story...

So this is the rest of the story. Life is a happily ever after, but not after a few rough days….


Life seemed to be going pretty well, with it's normal up's and down's. We were blessed to have 2 sweet little boys... Aren't they cute??

And then the bomb was dropped....

To most of you September 25th is just another day of the week. Here at our house it’s a remembrance of “D-Day.”

D-Day:

So it was a beautiful fall morning when the phone rang. I was just waking up and little Spencer was in my room watching Barney on TV and Ethan was still asleep in his crib. I wasn’t expecting the phone to ring quite so early in the day. I was, however, expecting a phone call from my doctor’s office sometime during the day.

You see, two days earlier I had been into the women’s center and had a biopsy of my breast. The week before I noticed a small discharge of blood from my breast. I called my OB and the nurse saw me the next day. She thought I might have a duct infection since I had just stopped nursing within the last year. She sent me to have a mammogram. Well, the mammogram prompted an ultrasound and the ultrasound prompted a biopsy. They told me there was a 5-7% chance that the darkened area on my ultrasound could be cancer.

“Five percent?” I thought. “That’s 95% chance I don’t have anything to worry about.”

I raced to the phone and answered. The nurse was on the phone. She asked if I was home alone and I told her no, my 3 year old and 1 year old were there with me. She asked me to sit down. The next several minutes were a flush of emotions and a blur of words like, ductal carcinoma and chemotherapy and mastectomy. I started crying hysterically and asked her what she was talking about! Was I really the five percent? She tried her best to calm me down and said she’d arranged for me to see a surgeon later that day.

I hung up the phone and slammed the phone on the counter so hard I thought it would shatter into a million pieces. I began shouting and crying, “NO! NO!! NO!!!” I then picked up the phone, (luckily it still worked) and called Matt at work and told him to come home. I then called my Mom who lived 5 minutes away and told her the news. She rushed over immediately.

I opened the door and began sobbing on my Mom’s shoulder. She was crying too and saying “Why? Why is this happening?” She was all dressed up ready to go to the MTC. In 2 hours, she was supposed to drop my younger sister off to start her mission.

Matt arrived from downtown in what felt like 2 minutes, thanks to a co-worker who drove him to the Trax stop closest to our house, so he wouldn’t have to wait for the train. (Thanks Paul) Matt rushed in the door and hugged me tightly. We just kept crying and crying.

My Mom drove home and picked up my sister and Dad and brought them over. They had to leave for Provo right away. I gave my sister the biggest hug, not knowing if I would ever see her again. I remember whispering in her ear, “work hard.” And with that they left.

By the late afternoon, I had no more tears left to cry. My eyes were almost swollen shut and I felt exhausted. I didn’t know how severe this cancer was. I had no idea if I was going to die or live. I had no details, no time frames, just that; I had breast cancer.

I knew I needed to shower and get ready for my Dr.’s appointment. Matt’s Mom came over to take care of the boys, and we went to the surgeon.

The surgeon was extremely comforting and helped me understand that I would not die. I had a really rough road ahead of me, but I would not die. That was great news. He explained that looking at my biopsy results he thought a mastectomy would be the best way to go. We spent 3 hours with the doctor. He was so great. So understanding and kind and answered so many questions. Thank you Dr. Alldredge.

After scheduling a surgery date (5 days later) we left for home. I was feeling a little better, but now just so sad and depressed about the long road that was ahead of me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through, but somehow I knew I had to survive this crap and see my boys have their first day of kindergarten, at least.

After arriving home I felt tired and hungry, but I knew I had to get ready for tonight’s young women activity. I was in charge tonight and knew I needed to be there. See, just 4 months earlier I was called as the young women’s president. A calling I absolutely LOVED! Matt told me I was crazy and that I shouldn’t be worried about that. I went anyway. I wanted just one last activity where I was still normal; one more evening where the girls looked at me as just a normal person, without cancer.

When the activity was over I told Taunia I had just been diagnosed earlier today. She and I broke down in tears and hugged. I then went into see the Bishop to let him know. He was completely shocked to say the least. Talk about deer in the headlights!! He told me if I wanted to be released, just let him know. I thought about it and decided that so much had just been taken away from me that day, I couldn’t bear one more thing. I felt like I could keep the calling and somehow it would work as a strength for me.

Well, the rest of the story is long and drawn out and would take pages and pages to fill the hundreds of experiences I had. Basically a lifetimes worth of experiences, learning opportunities, and bodily torture took place in about 9 months. Yeah, I feel like 15 years older than I really am…and my body DEFINITELY feels older too.

I wanted to share a few photos that I haven’t shared with anyone…why not the entire world huh? We can all laugh about it now right? Well..sort of.

Here's what I looked like before my haircut....

And here's after the haircut... About 3 weeks after my first chemo treatment, my hair began to die and fallout. I went ahead and pulled it all out...except a few hairs my hubby had to shave...

Here I am BALD! The pile of hair on the right is what I pulled myself, the pile on the left is what was shaved. Oh what fun!!!
Here's a picture of my hair starting to grow back in...I know... you have to look REALLY close, but it's there!!! And don't you love my lovely moon face? (Eyebrows at this point were painted on...and the cute no eyelashes look!!!)


So September 25, 2002 will go down in our family records as “Diagnosis Day, or D-Day” for short. Each year that passes I get so excited. I did get to see BOTH boys have their first day of Kindergarten. I even got a special miracle in 2005 with the birth of our sweet Sadie. So much more than I could have dreamed. When I celebrated my 30th birthday a bit ago, I was so excited…YAY!! I MADE IT!! I get to be 30!! I can’t wait to be 40, 50, 60, 70…well…hopefully. In the back of my mind there is always a little "I wonder when it will come back"; but for now I try to stay positive and enjoy each day with "no evidence of disease."

This year we will celebrate 6 years of great health! I can’t explain the tremendous gratitude I feel each day that HOORAY! I got another day! Another day to see my boys play a soccer game; another day to play princess with my sweet little girl, another day to hug my husband; another day to enjoy a sunset; and another day to kneel in family prayer with my husband and kids and say “thank you”. To my Heavenly Father I am truly thankful for sparing me just a little longer. Without Him, I couldn’t have made it through. To all my dear friends who have had their cancer return and are still fighting the fight....Hang tough...I love you all!!